Kyle Has an Interview

“Kyle entered the conference room, dressed to the nines in his best suit. He eyed the lady about to interview him. She had jet black hair that rolled down like a waterfall stopping just below her shoulders. She had a slim figure, but curves in all the right places. He would be glad to work under her any day. Her full ruby lips parted and her alluring green eyes went wide in surprise.”

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” She demanded.

He stood still, realizing what he had just done. “Was that out loud?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

She stood up, a deep anger emanating from those emerald eyeballs. “That was highly inappropriate. We will not be interviewing you, get out!” She yelled the last part.

He slumped his shoulders and sighed. “I understand.” He turned around and shuffled his feet back out the door. As soon as he crossed the threshold to the hallway the door was slammed behind him.

He turned around. No, this is the time to be confident. He thought to himself. He tried to open the door again, but it had been locked. Peering in through the window, he saw her with a landline phone being held up to her ear, the other hand hurriedly dialing some unknown number. He banged on the window and shouted, “HEY! This interview isn’t over yet!” She glanced up at him, flipped him the bird, then started saying something into the phone. He pointed his finger at her and shouted again. “If you don’t hire me it’ll be the biggest mistake of your career!”

She hung up the phone and walked briskly up to the glass. Finally he had her attention. But instead of apologizing and asking him back inside, she closed the blinds! Kyle thought about what he should do. I need to go up the chain. I’ll go right to the president, he’ll admire my guts and make me his VP. He turned around to go find an elevator, but was surprised to find two security guards planted squarely in his way.

“We’re going to have to ask you to leave sir.” Stated one of them plainly.

“You need to show me some respect.” Kyle said proudly. “I’m soon to be your boss.”

They shared a tired glance, before the same guard spoke again. “Really dude?” He questioned.

“You better believe it!” Exclaimed Kyle, and he plunged forward, ready to take hold of his destiny. He expected them to step aside as he pushed between them, but instead they each grabbed one of his arms. Looks like things were about to get physical. His mind ran through similar scenes from some of his favorite movies. He knew what he had to do. In an instant he spun his body clockwise, swinging his left leg around to sweep the one guard’s legs out from under him. Curiously, as his foot connected to the back of the shin, the guard stayed standing just as he was.

“Hey, stop that!” The security guard ordered. He was stronger than he looked. Kyle turned his attention to the other guard, who was a little older, and he hoped would be weaker. He couldn’t stop a devilish grin from forming before unleashing his deadly attack. Kyle swung his head forward and headbutted him right in his stupid nose.

The older guard held his face and they both let go of his arms. Kyle turned to face them both and crossed his arms. “That’ll teach you to mess with Kyle.” He told them.

The one who had somehow survived his terrifying leg attack brought his arm up holding a small can, and pressing his pointer finger down on the top, sent a vicious cloud of pepper spray right into Kyle’s eyes. As Kyle collapsed onto his knees crying and clawing at his peepers, the guard checked on his partner. “You okay Ron?”

Ron was rubbing his nose and replied, “Yeah I’m fine, mostly just surprised me. Crazy motherfucker we came across today huh Ben?” They both glanced over at Kyle, who was still rolling on the floor, sobbing and rambling something they couldn’t make out.

Ben said. “I’m gonna have the cops come pick this guy up, let’s get him to the lobby.” They dragged him to the entrance of the building and restrained him until the police showed up.

By the time the police arrived, Kyle had regained enough composure to stop blubbering, although his eyes were still bloodshot red. He shouted at the cops as they walked up. “Officers, thank goodness. Arrest these men, they’ve assaulted me and are holding me captive.”

They both looked him over. “He attacked you guys while you were escorting him out, right?” One of the officers asked the guards.

Ben replied. “That’s right, headbutted Ron here right in the face so I had to spray him.”

“Alright well we’ll take him to the station and book him. We’ll put him in the squad car and then get your official statement for our paperwork.” They handed Kyle off to them, who was wriggling like a madman.

Kyle screamed, practically shrieking as they forced him into the cop car. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, I’M THE PROTAGONIST!” He started to cry again. “I’M TELLING MY MOM!”

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